Current Events.

I have taken it upon myself to "fill us in" on the latest breaking news'.

The headlines read:

Flatulence leads US jet to divert!
Gosh! Where should one start? So this woman has a little gas problem while on an American Airline jet. She doesn't go to the bathroom, it is suggested that she might have a medical problem preventing her from quickly accessing the bathroom to do this, or perhaps a medical problem that makes her gases well, a little more offensive than usual. Anyways, to cover up the odor, she lights up a match!

Words elude me. Perhaps we should all just pray that we never have whatever she has that made her prefer lighting up a match in the air versus just letting her gas flow through. Perhaps the gas was more lethal? Hey, I don't know.


Indian men have puny penises!
No I'm not trying to be obscene. It is in fact a fact. There are numbers and all to support this conclusion. You just check out the article on the BBC website, if you haven't already. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm

Now that you are convinced I will commence.

So, I haven't heard about the exiling of the writer just yet. Perhaps they don't get BBC in India or something, but surely, the men don't know that the entire world is now aware that the average Indian has a smaller penis than his counterpart in well, say...Nigeria for instance :) (Nigerian men owe me for this).

If you ask me, it was not a necessary result to divulge to the rest of the world. As it is, Indian men are not comfortable asking for extra small when they go into cvs, so how the heck do you want to "encourage" them any further with this publication? I mean, if it is completely crucial to communicate this to Punjab (I use Punjab as I would Tom, Dick, Harry, Gbenga, Chucks or Ali), why don't you write him a personal letter or leaflet or something.
Of course the age old argument of "it's not size that matters" comes into play. Mehn please! But, I am willing to crank and crank and hypothesize as to how we can "elongate" our brothers' battered egos.

Ahhh! so here's what I came up with, how about resizing? I mean, in China, a "L" shirt is like an American "s", so why don't they just resize the things. For instance, an Indian "XL" will in actual fact be a Nigerian M. An Indian "s" will be a Nigerian.... Wait! No, we won't have that size. But that doesn't matter. Punjab will not know the difference.

But seriously, maybe this is all vanity anyway. I mean, doesn't it shrivel up when people die? So in the end, no matter how well endowed you were you will leave this world looking just like Punjab. Of course I hear for fifty dollars extra one could have the mortician play around with a paper, scissors and well, the..hmm...appendage before viewing.

Would you believe, as I was pondering on the dilemma facing our Indian sisters, yeah sisters was not a typo, S. Patel walked past my learning room. Honestly, my eyes where fixated on one "tiny" spot. Patel goes, "hey Z, what's up?" and I reply "obviously not much". brother hasn't read the article because he went "I understand". I laughed as I thought to myself, Nah! I bet you don't.