Talk to me...

I always have something to write, I simply never get to write it, but here goes:

Something freaky has been happening to me lately. ...So, if you know me, or really, are one of the two people who often, not, visit the Niger Area, then you will know that I have been riding on a roller coaster for a little bit now. Well, I sort of resigned to it so I guess it's no longer a roller coaster. I can't find the words to explain this, this feeling, or flow if you will, but I have been sort of gliding smoothly without doing much to propel myself forward. I've, well, just been moving forward.
Ok, so even the two people who read my blog won't understand that, even I barely do..., but that's sorta the way I feel. Anyways, lately, every little bible verse I read, sermon I listen to, devotional website I view, has been hauntingly direct. And I haven't read, listened or viewed much lately. It is so bothersome to me that I am actually about to stop in my tracks and meditate.
I think all the time, analyze every situation, that's not the issue. The issue is that in meditating I have to involve faith. I don't jump into a ditch because common sense says it'll hurt, but faith, goodness, faith, only faith, or madness anyways, will instruct you to jump. So yeah, I sort of have been going the common sense route, much easier. So now you see why understandably all these messages I'm receiving via EVERY channel trying to mess up my conveniently structured life of christian compromise and common sense are causing a panic.

To be honest though, this is what happens when you belong to God.
I'm not sure if I asked him to talk to me, I mean, I'm always praying; I learnt early on to pray ceaselessly, so even when I am done! as in, really, done where I'm not even sure God exists, or it's all his fault..., whatever it is that I could possibly be going through, during all that, I pray. No it's not blasphemy, it is human. Sometimes you go through stuff that changes you. Any situation that was powerful enough to change you impacted your belief system too. So your faith is the first thing you praise or question, depending on what direction the pendulum swung.
...but I belong to God. So in times of confusion, He talks to me subtly, but firmly. So, today, my spiel is to remain under God's radar, and the best way to do that is to keep talking to Him. Think of Him as your dad. If you're close to your father then you know that you communicate in tough times and the neater ones. He'll talk to you and arrange your day in such a way that you can't help but listen.

Well, my convenient life of compromise and doing whatever is about to change. It's been very neat. Even in my eyes, things make sense this way, but I'm listening and I know things have to change even though it won't be a quick cinch. Now to understand and do His will....