Emotional infidelity

in·fi·del·i·ty [ ìnfi déllətee ] (plural in·fi·del·i·ties)<B< span>r>
1. Unfaithfulness
2. Unfaithful act

Emotional Infidelity: "A close relationship with the opposite sex in which an intense and secretive emotional bond in formed"

Often, the birth of an improper relationship in the context of a closed one is caused by the lack of excitement. While very few people abscond in the face of excitement, it is also not uncommon for individuals to themselves bludgeon a rousing relationship just to run off to a more difficult, demanding and delusive one that is more so exciting because it bears somewhat on the border of the unacceptable. In the end though, the atrocious relationship often fills the need for excitement, or creates more excitement; take note, I have not justified any such relationship.

What I'm exploring here though is a more common but less recognized form of infidelity, the emotional kind.

Too often we excuse our friendships with members of the opposite sex because all we talk about is the weather, work, even family and maybe tennis or fantasy football, but isn't that how it starts?

You go from talking about the weather to talking about your partner to talking about intimacy with your partner, to talking about intimacy in general, to talking about how you or the other will go about intimate situations, to talking about how you AND the other will go about intimate situations.... The thing is, every normal social person will come across such a challenge when in a closed relationship. The longer one lets it linger, the deeper one moves in the chronological path to emotional infidelity.

Since emotional infidelity is not physical, how then is it harmful? Well, if it is hidden from the other member of the relationship, then it is probably harmful. If it lingers...well then, it will sooner or later turn to the physical kind of infidelity. As it were, such infidelity can occur with the object of one's emotional infidelity or with a total stranger. I haven't quite figured that one out yet. Without doubt, it is as a result of a rearranged or perhaps more accurate, warped sense of obligation and loyalty fueled by emotional infidelity, but the translation into something so physical with a stranger is almost too strong a reaction for that rationale.

Regardless, the key takeaway is to avoid such relationships. Members of the opposite sex are often exciting to talk too because of the usual opposite reflection on life, but the dangers of misusing such a relationship or hurting a partner is almost inevitable.


Ahhh...exhale....

“Fuckusing”

So we have this visiting strat faculty; Luis. Gosh, is he loads of FUN!!!

“Fuckusing/fuckus” is actually his word. It’s another way of pronouncing “focusing”. Thing is one can’t tell if his accent is actually what leads to “fun” words like “fuckus” or if he slyly organizes it into his sentences. Hot damn! He just asked “should I fuckus?” (Yes, I am writing in class).

Oh shoot! I'm about to get cold called!

Soul...

I've been busy these past coupla days; more like weeks actually. Today though, today is my day off. I dropped by precious babies off at daycare, took my car to the shop, did some cleaning (oh yeah, I'm a clean freak) and I've been playing my music ever since.

Music. While it is heavily misused these days, think of the likes of "Eccentric" American Idol '07, and RAP music, it still serves its purpose better than anything else can; It moves your soul.

Anita Baker, Tevin Campbell, Angie Stone, Erica Badu, Raphael Sadiq, D'angelo.... I have been on cloud nine since..., well, for the past hour or so. It's been so long since I indulged in some me time, but no matter how long ago its been, every time I do get to retreat into myself it feels so familiar. Kinda like walking into an air conditioned room from a hot humid smog filled Lagos street. The minute you step in, it feels like you never walked out.

*Exhale*